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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a skank playing ""H.O.R.S.E?"" She missed two shots, so she's a ho. I'll leave now."

"Why does Karl Marx not take milk in his tea? Because proper tea is theft."

"What did the music thief do in college? Take notes."

"""Paper or pl.."" ..astic! OMG we finish each other's sentences! You complete mmmm... ""I'm not saying 'me'"" ME! OMG we did it again! ""..."""

"Why isn't there a middle finger emoji I swear I would use it 99% of the time"

"*continues telling story that you've clearly indicated you've heard before*"

"A Siri joke!: Two iPhones walk into a bar... ...Carrying a set of iPod shuffles. The bartender says: > Let those iPods sing, man! He was an iSurfer on iPad mini."

"I'm working on organizing a circlejerk. It's coming together."

"I figured out why there are so many masturbation-related injuries that's when all the guardian angels cover their eyes"

"What's the worst thing about a lung transplant? Coughing up someone else's phlegm"