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Joke of the Day
"Why isn't there a middle finger emoji I swear I would use it 99% of the time"
Next Joke
"It's sad when a woman has to get breast implants just to keep her husband interested... ...it's even worse when his are still bigger."
"what did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but saran wrap? I can clearly see you're nuts!"
"Frankly auto correct, I'm getting really tired of your shirt."
"""Keep busy, you should."" Yoda said. ""Make your Dagobah faster, it will."""
"What do you call the corner of the market that specializes in philosophy? A Nietzsche market!"
"Be careful - too much sex can result in a balled spot."
"If I ever see my wife asleep with her mouth wide open, I seize the opportunity. First I unzip my pants, then I pull out my penis... And then I have sex with her sister."
"When an artist covers another artist's song, it's flattering. When a comedian tells another comedian's joke, it's Carlos Mencia"
"Me: you like that? *takes out trash* Wife: ooooh Me *starts vacuuming the living room* Wife: oh my god, don't stop"