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Joke of the Day

"Why did Sauron buy the sedan instead of the coupe? More doors."

"A joke from the oldest written collection of jokes begins ""A coward is asked which are safer, warships or merchant-ships"" Dry-Docked ships he answers"

"The cleaning people unplugged my radio and lost my settings, so I'm shooting fingernail clippings all over my office floor to punish them."

"How did the Scarecrow win the award? He was outstanding in is field."

"Do NOT look under a teenage boy's bed, & never, EVER ask him why he & his friends are laughing. - two things I've learned the hard way"

"Hillary Clinton is like an art history major, old and useless."

"A trip to the barbers... That'll put hairs on your chest."

"''Hey, you like water? yes? well I can turn it into wine.'' -Jesus flirting in a bar"

"Why shouldn't you laugh when a black man falls off his bike? It could be ~~yours~~ your bike. EDIT: Spelling."

"Why do lesbians like Sports Authority so much? Because they hate Dick's!"