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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you watch the Blind Side backwards? Oher's NFL career"

"It concerns me as a parent that damn near every Disney movie shows kids if your parents die you'll become royalty and have a great life."

"Why did Jimmy get into a horrific car accident? He let God take the wheel Edit: *Jesus.* He let *Jesus* take the wheel"

"FIFA 16 joke. fifa 16 is going to feature women players for the first time, apparently in the consumables section you will be able to purchase tampons alongside contracts and chemistry styles."

"*puts on headphones *cranks ""Eye of the Tiger"" *downs energy drink *laces up Nikes *runs out into 13 weather *runs back inside *Naps"

"If cloning ever becomes real, I want 3 triceratops. I even already have names for them. Oneceratops, Twoceratops, and Jeff."

"what did the router say to the doctor? It hertz when IP."

"Q: What's an archeologist? A: Someone whose career is in ruins."

"Note to guy who hit the crosswalk button like 45 seconds after I did & just then it changed: You didn't do that. I did that."

"You know why I was mad after I had sex with the women I love? Because she woke up"