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Joke of the Day

"GUY: are u in the 1% ME: more like the 2% GUY: well that's still great ME: [wondering why this guy's so in to milk] it's pretty cool I guess"

"What's the difference between a kinder surprise and Michael jackson. One is a choking hazard for children and the other is a chocolate covered candy"

"My statistics professor told me I was average... ... I told her ""that's Mean""."

"Why can't you tell pun jokes to kleptomaniacs? Because they always take things literally"

"What's the difference between an IRS audit and prison rape? In prison, you have a chance at getting a reach around"

"I asked a girl back to my place to enjoy the works of Michel Houellebecq. But she said she ain't no Houellebecq girl."

"Q: What kind of math class did the acorn take when it grew up? A: Gee-I'm-a-tree!"

"This bloke in the pub last night was boasting that when he orgasms, he ejaculates up to a pint of semen at a time.I found that a bit hard to swallow"

"What do you call a difficult problem in chemistry? A chemystery."

"Fill out job applications in crayon... ...and if you don't get hired, just blame it on your color."