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Joke of the Day

"GUY: are u in the 1% ME: more like the 2% GUY: well that's still great ME: [wondering why this guy's so in to milk] it's pretty cool I guess"

"What do you call a short Mexican? A paragraph, because he's not big enough to be an ese."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? Because his wife died. Also; what is Forest Gump's password? 1Forest1"

"I had sex with a chipotle manager When I was about to lick some guac off her tits she stopped me and says ""You know that's extra, right?"""

"Made the mistake of ordering chlorine for the pool and researching Kenya so I'm tweeting this from what appears to be a windowed black van."

"Yo momma's pussay is like the white house: No bush, and there's a black guy in there now."

"I've found a great 24-hour Indian restaurant It's my favorite nonstop naan-stop"

"Who takes the most drugs? The police."

"i always get gatorade and gasoline confused. my car is real good at sports and im dead"

"Did you know that there is an elephant at Bush Gardens? That's what I call my crotch."