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Joke of the Day

"Every time we take our dog to obedience school I can't help but think about everything that we did wrong when we were training our kids."

"A Joke without a joke is a big joke"

"If your Uncle was an animal, what one would he be? An Aunt-eater."

"Roasted beef is like regular beef except the cows family tells embarrassing stories about it, which are tough and tasteless."

"What's the one knot I can tie with my butt? A noose"

"What do ducks get hooked on? Quack"

"[sees fly] Hmm... I think I'll name this creature ""Fly."" [sees bird] GODDAMMIT"

"*reads a note sombody put on my desk* [i heard u caught a cold! i hope it FLU away!] *drops note* what.. WAT IS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE"

"What did the milk say after it got beat? ...It's butter this way"

"Showing your love used to be buying them flowers or writing a poem. Now it's just looking at them for 5 minutes without checking your phone."