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Joke of the Day

"My mother retired and moved into a CVS."

"Extinction ""Not a chance."" Said the last female Dodo, as she walked away from the last male."

"What's my favorite pirate workout and cereal? Captain Crunch"

"What's big grey and flies straight up ? An elecopter !"

"What's the difference between a very old shaggy Yeti and a dead bee? One's a seedy beast and the other's a deceased bee."

"retweet if a walrus named jamaal got you pregnant then wouldn't pay child support so you had to take him to Maury"

"Critics are raving about Mud. ""It's like dirt but wet"" says one. ""Oh god it's in my eyes"" says another"

"Zayn Malik has a full beard now. He only shaves in one direction."

"What did the doe say when she came out of the woods? I'm never doing that for two bucks again!"

"Around 70% of the earth is made up of water, and the other 30% is filled with news articles about George Zimmerman"