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Joke of the Day

"My mother retired and moved into a CVS."

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall Dam"

"Life is like a box of Chocolates It doesn't last as long for fat people."

"Whats the difference between a Russian garbanzo bean and a Russian chickpea? A president has never been blackmailed into treason over a video of him paying to have a Russian garbanzo bean on his face."

"""Sure, you can wear shorts to preschool today."" -the reason I am sleeping on the couch right now"

"what do you call sodium chloride crossed with a poisonous writing utensil from out the sea a salt with a deadly wetpen *hides*"

"I'd hate to be stuck behind Satan in the post office... ...for the accursed one takes many forms."

"Two Irishmen walk out of a bar. Hey it could happen!"

"What's the difference between a dead baby and my ex-girlfriend? There isn't one..."

"Did you hear that Tom Cruise is hiring Rebecca De Mornay for the weekend to help him make cat food? Yep, it'll be ""Friskies"" Business!"