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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a Russian garbanzo bean and a Russian chickpea? A president has never been blackmailed into treason over a video of him paying to have a Russian garbanzo bean on his face."

"I'm confused about plants"

"""Hey, let's share a bottle of wine and try out the shriek-laugh we've been rehearsing."" -The women next to everyone everywhere."

"A mexican walks into a wall, what breaks first? His lawnmower. A jew runs into a wall, what breaks first? His nose."

"Did you see saw? I saw Saw. You see Saw II? I saw Saw II too. Going to see Saw IV? I didn't see Saw III, what am I going to see Saw IV for?"

"On the eve of her execution, a woman is asked what her last meal will be. ""I don't know. What do you want?"""

"What do you put on big rusty boobs? Double D 40"

"What is smaller than an ant's dinner ? An ant's mouth !"

"Why do dogs lick their dicks? Because they can."

"I almost got fired for watching internet porn at work. Instead I got fired for masturbating."