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Joke of the Day

"what do you call sodium chloride crossed with a poisonous writing utensil from out the sea a salt with a deadly wetpen *hides*"

"The ladies in my knitting club think it's hilarious when I greet them by saying, ""Sup, my knittas?!"""

"So a baby seal walked into a club"

"Went to see the doctor last week, he gave me 4 months to live,. So I shot him. Today the judge gave me 20 years, problem solved."

"Where do calculus students go when they are sick? To L'Hopital."

"A girl I know got collagen injections in her butt. Now she looks like a smuggler's desk. She's got a false bottom in her drawers. Just thought of that one today."

"What do you call a Jewish New Zealander? Hebrew"

"Why aren't snowmen called snow women? Because they're in the kitchen melting."

"Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I haven't paid $500 to have a garbanzo bean in my face."

"Too err is human... To Arr is pirate."