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Joke of the Day

"""Sure, you can wear shorts to preschool today."" -the reason I am sleeping on the couch right now"

"Why did Pinocchio's nose get longer? Because he told his wife he cheated on her."

"Two jews walk into a bar. They buy it."

"I asked my daughter's dentist for her favorite joke. Was not disappointed. What is the latest fad among teenage mermaids in the city of Atlantis? Taking shellfies with their shellphones."

"My personal trainer told me to listen to my body at the gym so I punched him in the face and went to get some ice cream."

"What kind of a belly button does a German car mechanic have? An Audi"

"What did the Ottoman Sultan do when he got home from campaigning? He got his dick out for his Haram bae's."

"Why does Trump watch the Olympics? To see how high Mexicans can jump"

"A hamburger walks into a bar, and the bartender says, ""I'm sorry, but we don'tserve food here."""

"Words cannot describe your beauty... But numbers can. 4/10."