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Joke of the Day

"There are three types of people in this world... Those who can count, and those who can't."

"I lost my job at the calendar factory Because I took too many days off."

"Caspar: I was the teacher's pet last year. Jaspar: Why was that? Caspar: She couldn't afford a dog."

"Thought for the day: is Taylor Swift's song We are never getting back together' actually about her legs ?"

"Me: are you serious? GF: yes I can't take it anymore, you're too unpredictable Me: [wearing a different shirt] what are you talking about?"

"""Can we talk later? The news is on... Well, if you have tuberculosis it's not gonna get any worse in the next 30 minutes, jesus."""

"If you want to rob a white person, just say: ""Stop, collaborate, and listen,"" then steal their stuff while they rap the rest of the song."

"Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? A: fo drizzle b: fo shizzle C: fo nizzle D: fo bizzle"

"Why are feminists so good at Street Fighter V? Because they are always V-triggered"

"Two atoms walk into a bar. The first one turns to the other and says ""I think I've lost an electron!"" The second one goes ""Are you sure?"" To which the first one replies ""I'm positive."""