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Joke of the Day

"too poor for whole foods too ugly for walmart"

"The masochist says to the sadist... ""Hit me."" The Sadist says, ""No."""

"Love means never being able to like another girl's selfie on Instagram ever again."

"This national park is nice but the cell service sucks. I can only enjoy natural beauty if I can tweet ironically about it."

"What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number? Nought two sixty."

"I'm on a seafood diet I sea food and I eat it."

"My neighbor is constantly whining about her small breasts. I think she's being a little too melondramatic"

"Happy Easter And to the Jews, better luck next time"

"Shout out to all the frozen desserts out there. Step to me with a dessert that ain't frozen and I'll snap your damn face off"

"She texted me, ""your adorable."" I replied, ""No, YOU'RE adorable."" Now she's stalking me and all I did was point out her typo."