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Joke of the Day

"The second I get shampoo in my eyes, I'm 100% sure there's a murderer in my bathroom."

"What did the baby skunk want to be when he grew up? A big stinker!"

"A man walks into the doctor's office to get a physical.The doctor says ""you will need to stop masturbating."" The man asks ""why?"" The doctor says ""because I am trying to give you a physical."""

"Teens today stuck inside all day long playing video games. In my day, we spent all day outside smoking hash oil & cigarettes with friends."

"The revolution will be tweeted. The sunset, Instagrammed. The relationship, Facebooked. The storm, Vined."

"What does GOP mean? ""GOP"" is onomatopoeic: it's the sound of anonymous penetration in public bathrooms late at night. -&y"

"If an airplane from West Africa was flying during the Northern Lights, and there was a sick passenger onboard... ...would it be Aurora Ebola-alis?"

"Whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? The boyscout comes home from camp"

"[Fixed] What do you get when you put human DNA in a goat? ISIS"

"It's a shame Laremy Tunsil fell in the draft... But he was still the highest pick!"