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Joke of the Day
"Have you ever heard of movie Constipation? No?? Because it still hasn't come out yet."
Next Joke
"Mom asked if I wanted to race toy cars with my neighbor Chucky. I responded, ""Nah, that's child's play."""
"I think if Abraham Lincoln were alive today... He would probably look around, scream, and then desperately claw at the inside of his coffin."
"Were those thousands of turtle lives worth the life of one stupid, spoiled Princess with a strange fetish for Italian plumbers?"
"By reading this tweet, you have earned a masters in communication from Stephen Colbert ""University."" Standard text messaging rates apply."
"What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta."
"Joke... What did you expect? A man asks his wife: Why don't you get upset when I yell at you? Wife: I clean the toilet. Man: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush. :-)"
"Micky mouse is in court and the judge says to him ""I can't grant you divorce on the fact your wife has bucked teeth"" Micky says ""I didn't say she has bucked teeth, I said she was fucking goofy"""
"Two cats cross a river... first cats name is un deux trois. The second cats name is one two three. Which cat made it across? The second cat because un deux trois cat sank."
"How did we go from crappy gas station coffee to ""Yes I'll pay $7 for you to put that in a cup for me""?"