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Joke of the Day

"You can't say happiness without saying penis. Coincidence ? I think NOT..."

"What do you call a guy who is in color guard? A flaggot"

"I learned from 'The Exorcist' That when it comes to souls, possession is 9/10 of the law. Changed slightly from a comment made by /u/boobiesucker"

"I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day today. Just kidding, here's a reminder it's on May 10th."

"What do the state of California and BDSM dungeons have in common? Nothing butt restrictions (thanks twitter.com/sorryforthelolz)"

"I gave my dad a two handed high-five once when I was 10. I had to spend the next 12 years convincing him I wasn't gay."

"Try this for fun: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people's cars saying ""Sorry for the damage."" Watching them is priceless."

"So there's two astronauts on a rocket... One says to the other, ""Get Ready, it's almost time for launch."" To which the other says ""Launch?! I haven't even had breakfast yet!"""

"What is it called when a Jewish woman ovulates? An Eggsodus."

"I like having fun with strangers in elevators by slowly moving my finger towards the emergency stop button while maintaining eye contact."