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Joke of the Day

"A friend described me as a 'no maintenance' type And I have no idea whether to be happy or offended"

"Remember, it's not a real paleo diet unless you're eating mammoth every day."

"Why was the transvestite always angry? cross-dressing"

"""I'm tired."" - Beat Cop"

"My teacher loves me - she puts kisses against all my sums."

"We just had Christmas and now Easter is right around the corner. Hard to believe they crucified Jesus when he was only 4 months old."

"I'm going to put my limbs into each corner of a fitted sheet and attempt to become a sugar glider."

"What happens when you throw root beer in the ocean? Root Beer Floats!"

"You've really gotta hand it to short people because we usually can't reach it anyway"

"So, Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton have split up! It's a bit of a Nightmare before Christmas."