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Joke of the Day

"I've never had a better karate instructor than a spider web."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's ok. He woke up."

"What is the saddest Olympic sport to watch? Water Polio"

"Treat your guests like family, so they don't stay too long."

"I was in the shower when I had a miscarriage. Worst baby shower ever."

"[arguing w girlfriend] Her: I feel like we have communication problems. Me: srsly? wow I text u like every day."

"Which fruit can never get married? Melons, because they can'telope."

"Jesus walks into a motel He gives the guy at the counter 3 nails and says, ""can you put me up for the night?"""

"Now that they found water on #Mars, how long before they bottle it & sell it at Whole Foods for $19?"

"why can,t you trust a Atom Because thay make up every thing"