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Joke of the Day

"What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house? I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation."

"My daughter: I know everything Me: What's the capital of brazil? My daughter: that's a secret"

"Not to brag but I'm never late for work without a good reason. For example this week my boss is on vacation..."

"2 gay guys are at a bar. As they near bar what does one say to the other? May I push your stool in."

"My neighbor said his dog was impregnated by my dog Django. I said ""No way, bro."" ""The 'D' is silent"""

"Why are none talking in the ladies sauna? They are sitting on their lips!"

"Pink Panther's to do list: to do, to do, to do, to do, to do, to do, to dooooo!"

"So I ordered a pizza I ordered a funghi pizza yesterday but I was pretty disappointed.. They obviously have mushroom for improvement"

"Carefully choosing my grocery check out line based on the back of who's head I want to beam hate into for the next 15 minutes."

"I got the chance to watch a women's final for beach volleyball last night... What a semi!!"