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Joke of the Day

"So I ordered a pizza I ordered a funghi pizza yesterday but I was pretty disappointed.. They obviously have mushroom for improvement"

"Jenner is a hero, and quite frankly saved some lives Had I not replaced the Jenner in my truck last week I wouldnt have been able to shift into neutral when my accelerator stuck today."

"Hillary Clinton has been frequenting a new restaurant, reports say. I guess the main appeal of it is her own private server."

"If you watch ""The Empire Strikes Back"" backwards it's about a kid so traumatized to learn his dad's identity he starts hitting on his sister"

"[at fancy-dress party shouting over all the barking] ""YOU NEED TO LEAVE"" me dressed as a giant vacuum cleaner: ""I DIDNT KNOW YOU HAD 6 DOGS"""

"What do you call a flightless bird? Joaquin Phoenix."

"Alway be nice to anyone that has full unhindered access to your toothbrush."

"My sex life is just like my typing skills. One handed."

"Brangelina is no more. And it's really sad to see that Brad Pitt is now just 'Br' while Angelina Jolie gets her whole forename back."

"Breakfast Bacon, Eggs, and Toast walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."""