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Joke of the Day

"I want you to be completely honest with me as long as you're only pointing out my strengths."

"I waited a long time for my testicles to descend When one finally did I had an inaugural ball"

"Yo mama is so fat that we were unable to put her under for the surgery. I'm sorry, there's nothing we could do."

"NASA: you've been selected to spend a year on the space station ME: wow that's awesome NASA: you and your entire family! ME: oh ok no thanks"

"Honey, what is the name of that German that hides things around the house? Alzheimer grandma, Alzheimer!"

"Did you hear about the movie,""Constipation""? ...it never came out."

"Just spent a nice relaxing hour on facebook, writing ""you Two look fantastic!!"" on all weekend selfies with three girls or more in it."

"I don't like working at the IRS It's incredibly taxing"

"What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? The bench can support a family."

"What's the cheapest kind of meat? Deer balls, they're under a buck!"