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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama is so fat that we were unable to put her under for the surgery. I'm sorry, there's nothing we could do."

"ME: my son ran away COP: we won't rest until we find him ME: [swiping LEGO aside with both feet] no rush"

"Drinking light beer is like having sex in a canoe... ... fucking near water"

"Whats the difference between american women and middle eastern women? American women get stoned before they commit adultery.."

"Did you hear about the homeless artist who got turned down in his submission for a classic string toy rebranding? It was a no-go hobo yo-yo logo."

"What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon ? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !"

"So I was eating some Middle Eastern food... ...but then my fala fell"

"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."

"UFC president Dana White called Conor McGregor this morning... He greeted him with ""Buenos Diaz"""

"What does Agatha Christie call a group of almost every type of bird? A Murder of Most Fowls!"