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Joke of the Day

"Packing for a trip, Husband says I don't need to overpack. It is so cute how he thinks I'm coming back."

"Statistically speaking...(NSFW) Nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape."

"If I were a dinosaur, I'd be a swagasaurus."

"I hate it when I'm doing sit-ups and I lose count after 900."

"My greatest fear is sitting in front of thousands of people while my Google search history is read aloud."

"Jews don't recognize Jesus. Protestants don't recognize the Pope. Southern Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store."

"I was lucky enough to run into Terrence Howard in the street, and I told him that I saw his latest movie once. Condescendingly, as if I were an idiot, he replied, ""Don't you mean... two times?"""

"How many dyslexics does it screw to take in a light bulb?"

"The itch from poison ivy is so bad that I just spent hundreds of dollars buying every possible cream and ointment at the pharmacy. I need to quit making rash decisions."

"What do you call an immigrant without green card that can't see Illegally blind"