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Joke of the Day

"What is the best part about a prostitute dying in the middle of your session? The next hour is free."

"Bear: *lowers sunglasses. Is it *beary* serious? Cops:...Ok that's funny but but you mauled a child so yes. You have to go back to the zoo."

"What do you call a Jew with no chance of getting ahead? Bernie Sanders."

"Super Irritating What kind of dogs use internet The ones we call dog-e"

"Did you hear about the mathematician who became a monk? One evening he was solving a trigonometric equation and then he saw a sine."

"My 8yo is watching a video of a guy watching a video of another guy flipping water bottles. Please pray for me during this difficult time."

"I'm on the toilet, and I'm pretty sure I just reached enlightenment. Holy shit."

"What do Baptists and cats have in common? You know they're doing it, you just can't catch them at it."

"My son played soccer in the mud all day. He was a little Messi."

"TIFU by locking up an underage girl in my sex dungeon Whoops, wrong sub"