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Joke of the Day
"Blue Collar Work Where does the blue collar chicken work? The Eggplant."
Next Joke
"""If anyone has any objections, speak now or- SHES LITERALLY A BANANA Groom: IS THIS TRUE EMMA? Best man: I f'kin KNEW she bruised too easily"
"Duck you AutoCorrect! You Blimb! I'm way more BadApps than you make me out to be! You Ducking piece of shed..BuckFace Toothless Bastilleday!"
"My X made the worst coffee. I thought it was grounds for divorce."
"How do you catch an elephant? You dig a big hole, fill it with ash, and put peas around the outside of the hole. When the elephant comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole."
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
"""Your resume says you've been to prison?"" Me: Sorry, that's a mistake ""So you haven't?"" Me: I have, I just didn't mean to put it on there"
"YOLO You Only Love Owls."
"How do you make holy water You stab it with a knife over and over"
"DAVE: sorry im late alvin needed me DATE: is that your son? DAVE: for the last time gwen, he's the lead singer in the chipmunk band i manage"