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Joke of the Day

"Why do Pillows work? Cause they're white"

"Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Neither have they."

"You'd think being in a pickle would be a good thing."

"*grandma climbs into time machine* *shuts the door behind her* MOM NANA IS STUCK IN THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK AGAIN"

"Every day I learn something new as a parent. Today I learned I can't sit through my daughter's violin recital without a desire to die."

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? [NSFW?] What is the difference between jelly and jam? *I can't jelly my dick up your ass.*"

"I've discovered my home doesn't have a basement. It was just the estate agent doing that walking down the stairs thing behind the couch"

"How do you know if a guy was in the Navy SEALs? Don't worry, he'll tell you."

"Why is your face all scratched ? My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses !"

"Explaining KARMA! It's when you throw a banana in Mario kart, and then, you lose the race because you got caught up in your own banana!"