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Joke of the Day

"The French are a very religious people... I talked to some of them, and they are all *Je suis* this, an *Je suis* that."

"Only a few of you have figured out that in every tweet I've ever written I've been subtweeting Pitbull."

"Tonight a friend asked if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him i was married now and that's where i sleep."

"I just asked Siri ""Surely it's not going to rain today?"". Siri replied ""It is, and don't call me Shirley."" I forgot to take my phone off airplane mode"

"Stop editing ya'll pics. What if you go missing? how you expect us to find you if you look like beyonce on facebook & chief keef in person."

"A cop, a hooker, a priest and a clown...... A cop, a hooker, a priest and a clown walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and replies, ""What.......is this some kind of Joke?"""

"I think my wife's sewing machine is on the blink. I'm not sure what's wrong, it just doesn't seam right."

"Why did the Louvre tour guide work for pennies? Because this docent makes any cents."

"Good Cop: *reaches for his gun* Intimate Moment Cop: *reaches for the same gun and their hands touch*"

"I've seen this joke here before, so I changed it and I think it's better. A Jewish boy asks his dad for $50... And his dad gives it to him!!! Ha ha!"