36327

Joke of the Day

"After Samsung phones, now Samsung washing machines are exploding. Samsung is now the third biggest nuclear power after US and Russia."

"If you're American when you enter the bathroom, and American when you exit the bathroom, what are you while you're IN the bathroom? European."

"TIL that the radiation of the sun has caused the American Flag on the moon to be completely white So now it looks like France visited first"

"[first date] -so how do you feel about octopus? Her: I like em -Whew! [lets other six arms fall out of shirt]"

"Nothing says rock bottom quite like having your head in the oven for 45 minutes before you realize you forgot to pay the gas bill"

"Where did the cantaloupe take his vacation? John Cougar's Melon Camp"

"A smoke detector is a sophisticated device designed to inform you that your smoke alarm is working. But seriously keep your batteries in it people. If you don't you'll die, maybe."

"I tried to rob a binoculars store today... But they saw me coming a mile away"

"After nine years of being together, I finally got down on one knee. And begged her to take it up the arse."

"Why Was The Canvas Maker Late Home From Work? He had to close a sail"