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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend attended a 3 day course on ""How Not to talk on the phone"" but missed the beginning. She mistook the course to be ""How to talk on the phone."""

Next Joke
 
"Read aloud and quickly: ""One smart feller, he felt smart"" Freudian slip?"
"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Inertia"
"You're like the menstrual cramp and bloating of people."
"If Tumblr was edible It would have alot of trans fat"
"my whole right leg fell asleep and my left leg is drawing dicks all over it wtf"
"So I got a phone call from the post office today... ...complaining that my dog is attacking a postman on a bike. But I told them ""It can't be my dog... he doesn't even know how to ride a bike""."
"I ate 15 raw oysters last night at the restaurant. I paid for it with exploding diarrhea. I think they would have preferred cash."
"What's the difference between an elected official and a piece of garbage? Garbage gets thrown out."
"Someone said to me today that my clothes are gay. I said yeah, they came out of the closet this morning."