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Joke of the Day

"A touchy-CNN reporter, while interviewing a Marine sniper asked, ""What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?"" The Marine shrugged and replied, ""Recoil."""

"I think it's cute how my bankruptcy attorney thinks I'm going to pay him!"

"Commas are the coolest punctuation, because they're like ""Yeah, you haven't got time to stop, but you can chill for a little bit."""

"What do the elderly eat? Dementos"

"Wife: ""If I died, would you remarry?"" Me: ""Yup."" Wife: ""And you'd even let her use my golf clubs??"" Me: ""No silly! She's left handed."""

"I have an irrational fear of elevators I always feel like they are going to let me down someday."

"Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."

"Ingredients for an apocalypse salad Edive, thyme"

"Where did the one legged waitress work? IHOP"

"Mum I found Dad Haven't I told you to stop making holes in the garden?"