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Joke of the Day

"The police are looking for a thief with one eye Why don't they use two?"

"I don't need a football game to get drunk and scream at my television."

"What do they call the Hunger Games in Japan? Battle Royale with cheese"

"I think I'm starting to see why it's a bad idea to give Trump access to nuclear launch codes... He'll just fire them"

"My wife got angry when I said ""Samsung""... Apparently that was the wrong answer to: ""What oven should I buy to match my cooking style?"""

"I didn't think it was funny when I first wrote this one... I gair aunty this is gonna be five steps removed from swishing nebraskan listerine on a gold claim. ...I was right."

"Why do the models on the catwalks always look so angry? I would have been very happy to get paid to just walk around in fancy clothes."

"Why does Kim Jong Un love books Because he's the glorious Reader"

"Why are Trump supporters *not* Nazis? When Nazis demanded your papers, they said ""please."""

"What did people start calling the medical school that allowed animals to study medicine? The hippocampus."