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Joke of the Day
"The police are looking for a thief with one eye Why don't they use two?"
Next Joke
"I'm an 'adult', so why do I dance a little and look around nervously when I find a $20 bill in my jeans I didn't know was there..."
"How do you REALLY confuse a gay person? Eight."
"Casey Anthony is still unemployed...? She should have a pretty good resume though. She had a job as a mother once and killed it!"
"My wife completely ignores me when she watches Grey's Anatomy......so I ordered the first 5 seasons."
"My roommate dressed as a syringe for our Halloween house party. He's upstairs with the sexy girl wearing the Courtney Love costume. In the addict."
"War does not determine who is right... ...only who is left."
"Me: How are you? Coworker: I can't complain. Me: *sticks finger in his coffee* Coworker: I just paid for that! Me: I knew you were lying."
"Nsfw how do you pick up a Jewish girl? With a dust pan."
"One for the science guys: Q) How do you make a hormone? A) Don't pay her!"