103923

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a millennial and a mutual fund? A mutual fund will eventually mature and make money"

"[hell] Me: Why am I here? Devil: You told people you'd say hi to other people 3,789 times but only did it 4 times. Me: OK that's fair."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff [Punchline](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zXDo4dL7SU)"

"What's a dogs favorite part of a tree? Stick? BARK!"

"Google Docs went to Nepal over the summer, came back like ""I'm Google DRIVE now,"" but we still called it Docs for the rest of college."

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide the eggs? Because he doesn't want anybody to know that he's been fucking chickens!"

"What do you get when you combine Avogadro's number of avocados? GuacaMole!"

"If by ticklish, you mean I'll turn into a rabid chihuahua on bath salts if you come near my underarm, then yes I'm a little ticklish."

"What do you call the sweat between two people having sex in Arkansas? Relative Humidity"

"In god we trust Everyone else must pay cash"