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Joke of the Day

"Stupid people need a CPU upgrade, colorblind people need a GPU upgrade. Just thought of this a few minutes ago, thought you guys might like it."

"Why don't prawns give to charity? Because they're shellfish."

"What is small furry and smells like bacon? A hamster."

"9: My room is clean. Me: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

"*forgets Netflix password* *sends email reset* *forgets email password* *sends reset to backup* 20 resets later: *opens 2nd Netflix account*"

"Q: How many Vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN, YOU WEREN'T THERE!!! YOU DON'T KNOW!!!"

"Life is like a box of chocolates: Disturbingly expensive, yet... vaguely disappointing."

"If anyone's interested, I teach a little Web Browsing 101 course every time I talk to my mom ever."

"Spike from the Land Before Time movies is the best character ever! Literally in the first 30 seconds after hatching he yawns, eats an entire bush, and takes a nap, he's like me on valentines day."

"I Once Tried to Break the World Record for Most Records Broken Suffice to say, the employees at Village Music World were not happy with me."