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Joke of the Day

"Being successful is like getting pregnant.. ..Everyone will come to congratulate you but no one dares to ask how hard and how many times you were fucked."

"My friend is like a Jew during WWII In the closet."

"I think Hillary Clinton will be the best president. If she couldn't screw Bill, how can she screw America?"

"I fainted at an Indian restaurant when I found out that R.E.M had split up That's me in the korma."

"Border collies are not very inbred... You know what dogs *are* inbred? Hotdogs."

"Remember when I pissed off Apollo? Those were dark times."

"What do having sex and playing cards have in common? If you dont have a partner. You better have a good hand."

"I'm famous people used to have talent years old."

"Walked in on the big pillow in bed with my favorite blanket. Feel so betrayed."

"My life selling houses by Con Allday"