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Joke of the Day
"Walked in on the big pillow in bed with my favorite blanket. Feel so betrayed."
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"According to WebMD, I either have the Ebola virus or I just sat on my car keys :/"
"Why doesn't Chelsea Clinton have a brother or sister? Monica Lewinsky swallowed them."
"It's a fun and games til I get super drunk, flip the Monopoly board and tell everyone to get the hell out of my house."
"There are plenty of fish in the sea... ...but until I catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod."
"Getting grey hair hurts less when you say you're sprouting tinsel instead."
"What kind of pants does Super Mario wear? [Denim, denim, denim.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0SuIMUoShI)"
"Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know"
"How much wood does a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck chuck could chuck wood? None because only beavers give a dam."
"What happens when the pope dies Another one popes up"