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Joke of the Day

"If you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my obsession with pointing out doors to people, well, there's the door."

"What do you call a Polish aardvark? A Polaark!"

"Referring to another employee as a ""gingeraffe""will land you in sensitivity training...no matter how tall and redheaded they are."

"I like it soft and warm. Uh huh. Yea girl, go ahead and throw that figgy pudding in the microwave for a bit."

"I like my maths... ...how I like my sex: hard and fast. (difficult, but clear-cut)"

"Doughnut boxes advertise ""ZERO TRANS FAT"" as if anyone buying a box of doughnuts cares about the nutritional content."

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side!"

"Q: Why does a farmer look out of his window in the morning? A: Because he can't see through the wall."

"Why did the left alt key and the right alt key break up? They needed some space."

"I've given up sexual innuendo for Lent... so far it's been pretty hard."