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Joke of the Day

"My bank says my password isn't strong enough. Did it ever stop and think that my password has a lot going on right now?"

"What do you call two doctors with the same career? Pair of medics."

"Why couldn't the octopus take off her bra? It had suction cups."

"If an angel statue is removed from a fountain... ...would that make it a sans seraph font?"

"Sometimes I just go to work for the free internet."

"When I go shopping I like to buy condoms and cat food at the same time just to confuse the cashier"

"I have a fear of speed bumps... But I'm slowly getting over it."

"Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas? They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal."

"First Monster: I'm so thirsty my tongue's hanging out. Second Monster: Oh. I thought that was your necktie!"

"Tonight I'm going to party like it's 1999 Because back then the worst thing I had to worry about was just a computer glitch destroying civilization."