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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the guy who invented predictive text has died? His funfair will be held on a sundial. Funfair* Funfair* For ducks sake..."

"WIFE: *yells into basement* Our savings account is entirely empty. Do you know what happened? ME: *assembling robot monkey butler* No idea"

"What's the difference between a feminist and incense sticks? Incense sticks make scents."

"Valentine's day Mothers have mothers day, father's have father's day, couples have valentine's day and I have palm sunday"

"One man asks another, ""What's the best thing about 28 year olds?"" ""There's twenty of them,"" replies the pedophile"

"Few people talk about Hitler's other known book about war games, Mein Sweeper."

"Why do Mexicans not take Driver's Ed and Sex Ed on the same day? Because they have to give the donkey a break at some point."

"Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!"

"Did you hear about the guy who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now"

"NASA : we were wrong , there ARE 9 planets in the Solar System PLUTO: I'm back, baby! NASA: because we found a new one! PLUTO: SON OF A"