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Joke of the Day

"The opposite of SpongeBob SquarePants is TowelWeave CircleShorts"

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"What do Trump and his supporters NOT have in common? His supporters have a blind trust."
"Jesus: *turns water into wine* Me: nice Me: *turns a steak into a cheesesteak* Jesus: *whispering under his breath* holy shit"
"It's 364 days until christmas. And people already have their lights up!"
"I think that if Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh had their brains swapped, the world would be better because that surgery sounds really risky."
"I've come into a lot of money lately... It's a fetish I never knew I had until now."
"How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy? Because old Hobbits die hard..."
"How do you cure the hiccups? Dunk your head in a bucket of water and pull it out twice."
"Celine Dion walks into a bar and the bar tender says ""Why the long face?"" To which she replies ""My husband and brother just died."""
"Met a microbiologist this morning He was bigger than I expected."