54841

Joke of the Day

"My phone froze while looking at porn at work. The 4k quality is just too much of a load."

"The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse."

"A judge had sex with an underage boy... Reports say the judge is not going to face any charges. He tried him as an adult"

"Oh, you sent me an event invite on Facebook? We've never met and you live 2,400 miles away, of course I'll go!!"

"Anyone else able to tie rope using telekinesis? Thought knot."

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam."

"What do cows like to put on their hot dogs? moostard"

"Guy at Dairy Queen was yelling at everybody because they didn't have waffle cones but they had PICTURES of waffle cones. That guy was me."

"How can you tell what rank a Russian soldier is? Count the stripes on his track pants."

"Patient: I always see spots before my eyes. Doctor: Didn't the new glasses help? Patient: Sure now I see the spots much clearer."