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Joke of the Day

"What is the best kind of dog to ask for directions? A Chihuahua because it knows all the shortcuts!"

"I made a joke at the US-Mexico border jajajajajajahahahaha"

"How many animals can you fit in a pair of pantyhose? A couple calves, an ass, ten little piggies, a beaver, a shit load of hares, and a fish that no one can seem to find!"

"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on a boys face until he's 13."

"Some pigs are born with two vaginas. It's true, ask your mom."

"What do you call ratting out the President's daughter for smoking weed? High treason."

"On my way to Chicago. Anybody need anything? Hot dog? Deep dish pizza? Bull's Jersey? A lock of Oprah's hair?"

"*i got to get into bed but theres a walrus in there* *i ask him politely to move* *he wont move* *i have to sleep on the floor & im annoyed*"

"There will be no documentation of the 1990's... ...Because only 90's kids will remember"

"A mushroom goes into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, 'We don't serve your kind here."" The mushroom says, ""Why not? I'm a fungi."""