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Joke of the Day

"A mushroom goes into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, 'We don't serve your kind here."" The mushroom says, ""Why not? I'm a fungi."""

"What's a difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, ""Chew, chew, chew!"""

"What do you say to a girl with a black eye? Nothing. You already told her."

"There was a black out in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him."

"I heard OJ Simpson was getting married again. He's gonna take another stab at it."

"My uncle once punched his 8-year-old daughter for cheating while playing cards. *He takes strip poker very seriously.*"

"I'll finish this joke when my dad gets back buying cigarets"

"On a recent flight I was surprised to be served breakfast. Although it was only plane yogurt."

"The dalai lama walks into a pizza parlor... And he asks the cashier to make him one with everything."

"SON: Daddy, where do tweets come from? DAD: Well, son...when a Desire for Validation and a Character Limit love each other very, very much."