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Joke of the Day

"Cheek of my doctor. I went in for a check up and he said I'll never have kids. I said ""why? am I infertile doctor?"" He said ""no your a fat cunt."""

"My astronomy professor told me I was his star pupil."

"What did one tooth say to the other? Get your cap on the dentist is taking us out tonight."

"I went on a date last night!nIt went really well...up until the moment the couple realized I was following them & promptly called the cops."

"I almost died last night. I woke up at 3am and MY FOOT WAS HANGING OFF THE EDGE OF THE BED. NOT EVEN UNDER THE COVERS."

"What do you call a fat computer? A Dell ( probably a repost, I laughed tho)"

"Just walked by a senior center celebrating pride... ... It looked like they were having a gay old time"

"The Department of Unfinished Statistics concluded... ... that 7 out of 10."

"What do you call a sad Ent? Mourning wood."

"The internet was down at work today. I got about 7 months worth of work done out of boredom."