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Joke of the Day

"You're spending a lot of time at that computer screen. Have you had your eyes checked? No they've always been blue!"

Next Joke
 
"What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam."
"How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? It isn't hard"
"Why did the hearing aid saleman give it up for a life of piracy? Because he only made a good buccaneer."
"god: now to create a universe for man, my most beloved creation lucifer: what if u make like 99.999% of it kill them instantly god: lol ok"
"I'll have a club sandwich on rye. Hold the mayo. Cuddle the mustard. Whisper soft words of confidence to the lettuce. Make love to the onion"
"How to sports: - Take a ball - Put it someplace someone else doesn't want you to put it - Congratulations you've now sportsed"
"When I get in an elevator, before I press a button I look at everyone inside and say ""Are you ready to take this sh*t to a whole new level?"""
"I've started a glass coffin manufacturing business. My friend asked me if I thought it would be successful. I replied ""remains to be seen""."
"*walks into convenience store* ""Excuse me, do you sell beef jerky"" No sorry we only carry beef friendly *beef sticks start complimenting me*"