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Joke of the Day

"I hate mosquitoes, they're like nature's version of a Jehovah's Witness.........."

"[wife crosses out another baby name off the list] What? What's wrong with Carlos Danger Grenades?"

"[Reality TV] HOST: Welcome to America's Next Top Psychic! Please, try not to-- *One contestant stands up*: I WON! H: --ruin it."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him."

"What do you call a snail in the Navy? A Snailor"

"How do you make Manischewitz Wine? Kick him in the nuts."

"For my niece's 7th birthday, I'm filling a pinata with a smaller pinata. When she breaks it open I'm gonna yell ""Oh God! She was pregnant!"""

"Why did the butcher divorce his wife? He caught her eating his competitor's meat!"

"What do you call a mathematician who fakes injuries? Fibbinouchie."

"A German entrepreneur is opening up a new furniture department store. Word is, its going to be called Kikea."