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Joke of the Day
"What soup weighs the most? Wanton soup. I'll leave now."
Next Joke
"It may seem like I have my shit together, but honestly I just learned how to spell February correctly."
"Beauty is only skin deep... but it sure looks good on the ladies."
"I was trying to help my family overcome their drug habits... ...but it got too *meth*-y. Ill just let them *weed* themselves out."
"*Food arrives* *Waits 3 days* *Slowly takes bite of food* *Waitress appears from under the table in camouflage* HOW IS EVERYTHING??"
"Add a word to ruin a movie: - Batman Begins College - The Longest Yard Sale - Charlottes Web Cam."
"You know that feeling when you've had a long day at work, you drive home and nothing is going your way? It's probably because you're driving in the wrong lane."
"What do you call a midget with epilepsy that makes pizza? Little Seizures..."
"Do you hear about the 2 Irish gays? Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael."
"A blonde was swimming. She swam deeper and deeper until she drowned. Her husband came home and found her dead in the bathtub."