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Joke of the Day

"I walked into a shop and saw a radio for sale because the volume was stuck on high... ...I thought, I can't turn this down!"

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"They say you are what you eat So I bought myself some ""ready to eat Apricots"" And after I bought them I was indeed, ready to eat Apricots."
"A woman is good for 70 things. Cooking and 69."
"What breaks every time you give it to a toddler? Their pelvis."
"What do Reddit Users and Olive Oil have in common? They're both extra virgin."
"A couple are having trouble with their marriage... Wife: We used to have something special Jon! Something rare and precious! What happened to that? Husband: You spent it all dear."
"Teen Joke Teacher:"" What comes after 69?"" Student:"" Mouthwash."" Teacher:""Get out."""
"What is black and white and red all over? A Dalmatian with a bad sunburn."
"What do you call a cow that gets an abortion? De-calf-inated"
"Fill in the blank: Friends are like_____ mine is ""Friends are like trees, if you hit them with an axe they fall over."""