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Joke of the Day

"If a cop is at the door when I answer, I yell into the house ""Anyone order a stripper?"" then say ""Sorry, wrong house"" & slam the door shut."

"Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: I'M RIPE NOW Avocado: okay you were in the bathroom so I rotted"

"how many cooks does it take to change a lightbulb? one, and nine to stand around and say how they did it at their old job...."

"What's a 6.9? Another great thing screwed up by a period."

"What do you get when you cross a crocodile with a cartridge? A snapshot."

"So let me get this straight, a 747 can carry a space shuttle on its ""back"", and yet airlines charge for overweight baggage?"

"Lorde wrote her Grammy nominated album at age 14. My son is 13 and has let the bathtub overflow twice while he was sitting INSIDE of it."

"What do people in Prague call abortions? Canceled Czechs"

"Religious groups put on performances for an audience The Christians put on a hell of a show, the Jews knocked their socks off, but the Muslims blew them all away."

"I bet college professors never get tired of watching freshmen get fat. I know I wouldn't."