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Joke of the Day

"God: You'll be cursed to travel the desert for 35 years Moses: *slipping him $20* How about 30 [Later] Moses: We must wander for 40 years"

"I have a cross eyed friend who just got diagnosed with depression. Makes sense because he never looks forward to anything."

"What's the difference between Barbara Walters and Oprah? Oprahs Black"

"My favorite sex position is the JFK. It's where I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"If Barrack Obama wrote a book what would it be called? 50 states of gay."

"What is feared by jailbirds and splits light into different colors? Prism rape."

"What does my Uncle and my account balance have in common? I cry whenever I see them."

"I swallowed some food coloring the other day. I'll be alright, but it feels like I dyed a little inside."

"If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate,, it is not me. I believe I've been hacked."

"Amazon is a $250 billion dollar company that reacts to you buying a vacuum by going THIS GUY LOVES BUYING VACUUMS HERE ARE SOME MORE VACUUMS"