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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a redneck orgy? A family reunion."

"Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't."

"I'm spending valentines day doing math homework. I'm stuck here with an eX, and I'm still trying to figure out whY."

"Ugh: I hid three dozen raw eggs in the house last night after taking Ambien and now I can't find them."

"what is the most terrifying sound to a redditor?? pao pao pao..."

"Windows 8 is like my ex... Looks good, is nice for touch and play, but terrible for the real work."

"Ladies, if you've ever walked by a van with no windows and you're reading this, it's because you're ugly."

"I'm not sure what my three-year-old needs more, naps or an exorcism."

"What did Mitt Romney say to C3P0? Threepio, hand me those binders, willya?"

"How do crabs get out of hospitals? On crotches."