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Joke of the Day

"Ladies & gentleman this is ur captain speaking. I havent seen the new Star Wars yet. If I hear u discussing spoilers I will crash this plane"

"""did you hear the one about the grizzly who-"" dude stop ""it's just a joke man"" i know it's stupid but- *points to my date* bear with me"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alexander ! Alexander who ? Alexander friend are coming over !"

"Meatloaf said: ""I would do anything for love, but I won't do that""... ...he means lose weight. -&y"

"Why doesn't Dubai screen 'The Flintstones'? Because Abu Dhabi doooo."

"*walkig around department store that is full of wat clearly are christmas decorations* its haloween again ALREADY??"

"I saw someone use ""Terrierist"" instead of ""Terrorist"" and I don't know whether I should be afraid of my dogs or not."

"I changed my password to ""incorrect"" So when I forget it my computer will tell me ""your password is incorrect"""

"Fedoras most likely. Two hats are on a hat rack in a hallway. One says to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on ahead.'"

"Two Irish men walk into a bar.... What else is new?"